Suddenly, This Summer 16 // Indissoluble Devotion

Zhang Yuan placed the sheets down. “Being this old, this is the first time I’ve ever done this. If I knew this would happen, I would’ve brought my mom too.”

“Ah, then let me do it.” He Luo pushed him away. “You go unpack.”

Zhang Yuan sat down and took everything out from his luggage one by one. He pointed at He Luo, smiling at a clearly surprised Shen Lie. “Girls won’t let go of any opportunity to show their virtuous side.”

“And boys won’t miss any opportunity to slack off!” He Luo sticked her tongue out at him. “How did you get here? Did you manage to buy a ticket?”

“I walked here.”

“Stop joking!”

“I really walked here. I’ve been walking up and down the train.”

“Ah? A standing ticket…” Her heart began to hurt for him. An 18-hour journey.

“Wrong! You missed a word.” Zhang Yuan took out a ticket from his pocket. “A platform standing ticket.”

“You… got in without a proper ticket?”

“I paid after I got into the train! Smart, isn’t it?” He laughed cheerfully. “I even stopped to help an aunt to carry her luggage. The ticket inspectors really thought I’m there to send her off.”

“What are you going to do then?” He Luo frowned. “Are you really going to stand all the way back? It’s not easy to buy tickets now.”

“Let me try.” Shen Lie who had been ransacking his drawer spoke. “My aunt works at the railway company, maybe she’ll be able to get a ticket.” He passed them an envelope. “Here’s the door key, meal card, bath ticket, library card… I’ll put it here for you. Maybe you’ll have use for them.”

Shen Lie’s home wasn’t far from campus so he said he would return once he got the ticket. “There’s no need to queue. If my aunt can’t make it, then there’s no use even if you camp outside the station the night before.”

“Big brother, there’s nothing that can be said. My tears are gushing.” Zhang Yuan changed his tone to mimic a northeast accent. “When will you come to my place for a cup or two?” He patted Shen Lie on the back.

After Shen Lie left, Zhang Yuan smiled. “This classmate of yours is a really good person.”

“I only realised that today. I thought he’s a talkative person, he also likes to show off as if there’s nothing he’s not capable of doing. But when it comes to the actual situation, he’d embarrass himself. This morning when he took us to the flag-raising ceremony, he almost lost some of us.” He Luo asked, as she tidied the bedding, “Are you hungry? Did you eat anything on the train?”

“Luckily I bought breakfast in the train. It’s exceptionally disgusting.” Zhang Yuan yawned. “The biggest problem now is that I’m drowsy.”

“Then you sleep first. Come and find me when you’ve awake. Do you want to eat roast duck or Japanese cuisine for lunch? There’s also pizza.”

“Just grab whatever in the canteen.”

“Great! The fried pancake and soy sauce pork in the canteen are the best!”

“Okay. The decision is up to you.” He smiled, tone a little flat.

Shen Lie’s roommate Jiang Zhi Yao pushed the door open and brought with him 3 to 5 students. They were seriously discussing how to best play a game. He Luo was too embarrassed to stay in the boys’ dorm for too long. She decided to say hello to the boys and then leave.

“I’ll send you off,” Zhang Yuan said.

“No need. It’s a total of 4 floors. You sleep more.” He Luo fiddled with his shirt’s hem, trying to ease the deep crease on it. “You’re exhausted. After Shen Lie left, you barely said anything.”

“If I spoke too much, I’m worried you’ll feel chatty…” Zhang Yuan smiled. “But I’m really sleepy. I think I’m already asleep. I’m talking in my dream.”

As He Luo walked on the return path in the avenue, she felt that Zhang Yuan’s energy was dim and sullen. Was he really exhausted? He had suffered an entire night and truly looked haggard. But the hug during their reunion was unmistakably enthusiastic. It was just that, out of the blue, he seemed to be dispirited. Although he was still joking and laughing, there was mellowness in his expression.

They had been together for nearly 2 years. He Luo believed in her intuition. She had a guess. Perhaps Zhang Yuan was unhappy that she spent the night staying up to watch the flag-raising ceremony with another boy? But he didn’t seem to be jealous of Shen Lie. She thought that while it was true that Shen Lie was quite a good-looking guy but he was at least half a head shorter than Zhang Yuan. He also didn’t have Zhang Yuan’s free-spirit and easygoingness. As for personal appearance, Zhang Yuan should have enough self-confidence.

More importantly, they trust each other’s feelings and character.

What’s the point thinking about this? She wanted to think she was just paranoid. Zhang Yuan was simply exhausted. To persist until now after an 18-hour journey, it was already remarkable. What else did she wanted from him?

He Luo returned to her room. After a quick washing up, she laid flat on her bed. Ye Zhi was surprised to see her. “Why are you back so soon? I thought you’d be together with him for 24 hours!”

“Ah, he also had a sleepless night. Since he’s sleepy, I let him rest first. Just so happens that I also stayed up.”

“Then why are you staring at the top bunk?”

“I’m sleeping now.” He Luo turned on her side and continued to stare at the white wall.

“You can actually fall asleep.” Ye Zhi shook her head. “You’ve seen how he took such a long ride here, exhausted and travel-worn. Isn’t it so he can stay with you awhile?”

He Luo was quiet. Truthfully, she really wanted to hold onto Ye Zhi and unleash all her pent-up worries. But they had only met for a month. There were many words that she couldn’t easily share.

In a daze, she ended up napping until noon. The warden shouted for her name through loud speaker again. In a jolt, she got up and screamed that she was coming even as she frantically reached for a comb. Ye Zhi said, “I’ll go down first to take a look.”

“He said he’d take out you all out for dinner some day. What’s your hurry?” With a pin in her mouth, Ye Zhi mumbled.

“I’m curious! I want to take a sneak peek!” Ye Zhi giggled. “I’ll go and detail your bittersweet longing.”

“Don’t!” He Luo let go of the hair she was combing halfway. “I didn’t tell him I was sick.”

“Then I’ll go and praise his good looks. See if you won’t be jealous!” Ye Zhi snickered, hand reaching for her thermos. “Forget it. I’ll go and fetch hot water. Going back and forth like this I’ll be able to see him twice!”

Zhang Yuan who was waiting outside the building laughed. “Why is Beijing so hot? I think I’ll get a heatstroke.” The sun seemed to have restore his radiance. He Luo whose head was a little dizzy from lack of sleep began to doubt if his previous indifference was simply a dream.

The two of them walked to the canteen, naturally holding hands. Ye Zhi came up to them, rubbing shoulders with Zhang Yuan before suddenly turning around. “He Luo!” she yelled, smiling a constrained smile as if she was holding it in.

“Ah…” He Luo didn’t know what to say. “Why did you come back so soon from fetching water? Right, this afternoon I won’t be coming back.”

“It doesn’t matter if you don’t come back. I won’t report you to the warden!”

*

“What should we eat?” He Luo asked.

“Didn’t you suggest fried pancake and soy sauce pork?”

“But you just got off the train, won’t your stomach be gassy? Porridge should be better.”

“That’s for those who actually sit in trains. Those who stand don’t have such a problem. Let’s get meat to recover some of my strength.”

“Since you went a night would sleep, your body must be heaty. How about mung bean porridge?” With deft hands, she directed Zhang Yuan to get them two seats.

“Big sis, since you already know I went without sleep last night, you’re still unwilling to let me have some meat?” Zhang Yuan smiled. “Come, hand me your meal card.”

“Let me go.” He Luo was about to stand up.

Zhang Yuan pressed her shoulders so she would sit. “Let me go check out what you eat everyday.”

“Then… I’d like rice and braised chicken wings.”

“Didn’t you say the fried pancakes are the best?”

“Ah, that’s a kind of trauma. Last month I ate that one week in a row…”

Zhang Yuan laughed. When he returned with a tray of food, the two of them sat side by side.

“Hey, where’s the card? Did you forget to take it?”

[T/N: not sure about this part]

“Your paws are too small.”

“Who said that!” Her tone was dissatisfied. “In primary school, when the pipa instructor came to our class to select students, she made everyone put their hands on their desks. She picked me first, saying that my fingers are long and flexible.”

“You know how to play the pipa? Why didn’t I know?”

“My mom didn’t let me learn. She said it’s like selling art [ala geisha].” He Luo opened her palm, placing it against Zhang Yuan’s. “Look. It’s not very short.”

“It’s really rare that your hand is still slender even after your face is round from your stuffing.” Zhang Yuan pretended to be solemn and slightly bent his fingers to entwine with hers. “Da Kang, my Inner Mongolian roommate, is a total fattie. His hand is also like this. We all said he’s in the wrong place(?).”

“You’re comparing me with him?” He Luo giggled, taking back her hand and turned towards the window. “This is the body part I’m most satisfied with.” Her slender fingers seemed transparent under the sunlight, lined with a subtle orange hue. She pinched her finger. “What do you say?”

“What I can say… I have yet to see the scenery [whole thing],” Zhang Yuan slowly said. “Without an investigation, I don’t have grounds to speak.”

“What did you say? Say it again, say it again!” She poked him on his side. “Rascal!”

“What rascal. You’re sitting so close to me, of course I can’t see the scenery.” He can’t help his laughter. “What are you thinking about? Still Sealed with a Kiss? I have the feeling that I’m really quite unsafe on this Beijing trip.”

After lunch, they went to the supermarket near campus for some shopping. He Luo insisted on buying slippers for Zhang Yuan. Recently, Shen Lie’s dorm found 11 sneakers - 7 of them of the left foot, 4 right. He just announced it this morning and it was fresh in her memory. “They share the shoes without concern. In case anyone has athlete’s foot, you might get infected. So don’t wear their slippers.”

“It doesn’t matter. We’re also the same. In fact, communism is first achieved in the boys’ dorm.”

“I’ll just pretend I didn’t hear that.” He Luo sighed. “But now you’re in Beijing so you have to listen to me.” She reached for a pair of dark blue slippers, gave its soles a pat. Turning around, she said, “Here. This is your reward for travelling through the night.”

“Ah, such an easy way to get rid of me.” Zhang Yuan pretended to be disappointed, then smiled. “I just realised you have so many quirks. So naggy, just like my mom.”

“We’re all just concerned about you.” She stuck out her tongue.

“Every time I said that to my mom, that’s what she’d reply. You two have such familiar viewpoint, no wonder she likes you better than she likes me.”

“Ah? Who told you that?”

“My mom. During that parent-teacher meeting.”

“But we met just that one time.”

“Yes, but when we went home that day, she said many good things about you.”

“Really? What did she say?” Her heart felt warm knowing she had his family’s affirmation.

“That was so long ago, who would still remember? Anyway, it’s just words to praise girls.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me earlier!”

“I’m worried you’d get so proud your tail would be all up,” Zhang Yuan replied. “Once you two ladies get together in the future, I’ll never have another good day.”

Future, what future? Looking at his back, He Luo giggled. In the daily necessities department, they looked at pots and pans, occasionally knocking some together. She joked around with Zhang Yuan, pretending to be a housewife.

This is that person. That person that she can be a family with, that she can grumble over his character with his mother. As if she could already see that day, she could see herself being busy in the kitchen and shouting, “You only know how to watch the TV, never helping me out with the cooking.” This was a boring scene her parents had stage over a thousand times. But once she replaced the protagonists with her and him, it became impossibly blissful. He Luo lowered her head and smiled. She didn’t want to wake up from such a dream.

Zhang Yuan turned around. “What are you doing there, all secretive?”

“Oh.” He Luo hurriedly lifted her head and grabbed a bag of cat food randomly. “Look, isn’t this kitten adorable?”

“Ha. I’ve eaten that. They lied to me saying it’s a new brand of biscuit,” Zhang Yuan said. “But why are you smiling so happily? Have you tried that before?”

“Ah. I’ve thought of a joke, not sure if you’ve heard it,” He Luo said. “An old lady went to buy cat food but the clerk refused, asking that she prove that she really has a cat… hey, have you heard this before?”

Zhang Yuan shook his head.

“Then without a choice, the old lady brought her cat in and the clerk sold her the cat food. Later, when she tried to buy dog food, she was also asked to prove she has a dog. So she brought the dog in. Then on the third day, she brought a box and asked the clerk to put her hand in to touch it. The clerk did as requested and asked what the old lady wants to buy today. She said toilet paper.” He Luo giggled. When she saw Zhang Yuan carrying two rolls of toilet paper and a box of tissue paper, she laughed even harder.

Zhang Yuan sneered coolly.

With some guilt, she looked up at him only to see him squint his eyes. “It’s very funny to you, isn’t it?” He rapped her head with the paper tube. “Go and pay as punishment. And prove it to the cashier.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“You’re disgusting.” Zhang Yuan grinned. “You’ve already been poisoned this badly since coming to Beijing. How can I trust you enough to take you to my mom?”

After unloading their shopping in the dorm, He Luo took Zhang Yuan to tour the campus. “The administrative buildings are very old but the scenery is good. The roads are very winding though.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll come here often. I’ll make sure there’ll be a second version of your campus map.”

The two of them went to McDonalds and sat there until it was almost closing time. There were always a lot to talk about. Even if they have already shared anecdotes in their letters, they would bring it up again. He Luo liked seeing Zhang Yuan talk this way, with enthusiasm and spirit. She didn’t really pay attention to the specifics of what he had said. She just wanted to see him, and hear his clear voice.

*

Ye Zhi was waiting anxiously at the dorm entrance. When she saw He Luo and Zhang Yuan, she immediately smiled. “I’m worried you won’t come back.” She patted her chest and said, “I almost forgot that our dorm is responsible for the bicycles today. Those two wretches are not coming back. I thought I’m going to have to do it alone.”

“Ah, we have a free labour here.” He Luo laughed. “Little Labour.”

“What do you mean?”

“Time to work.”

Zhang Yuan volunteered to tidy the bikes scattered across the road and carry them over to the shed. In the shadow, a boy was back-facing him holding a bike, blocking several others more. Zhang Yuan walked over and patted him on the shoulder. “Classmate, please move over.”

The boy turned around, looking surprised, ashamed, and angry…

The petite girl in front of him was so embarrassed she had turned towards her boyfriend’s chest.

Zhang Yuan was stunned.

Watching from the shed, He Luo gripped the iron fence as she laughed, shoulders rising and falling.

Zhang Yuan shook his head as he returned, complaining in a low breath, “Who told the boy to be huge? And his girlfriend is so short. I thought he was unlocking his bike lock.”

“I didn’t dare to laugh out loud. I’ve repressed it so much I think I have internal injuries now.” He Luo touched Zhang Yuan’s eyelids lightly. “What did you see? Did you get pins in your eyes [did you see anything scandalous]?”

“You’re looking for a fight, aren’t you?” He reached out to grab He Luo’s arm but she deftly moved away, making a face. She imitated Zhang Yuan’s tone. “Classmate, please move over.”

“See if I don’t catch you!”

They ran around, chasing each other like a pair of children. He Luo collapsed on top of the bike rack. Laughing, Zhang Yuan followed suit, falling beside her.

“Where else can you run to?” He caught He Luo’s elbow.

“I’m not running, not running.” She waved a hand and clutched her stomach. “Just now I laughed so hard I got stitches, now I ran so hard I got stitches as well.”

“Are you okay?” Zhang Yuan helped her onto the backseat of one of the bikes, stroking her head.

“I’m fine.” She looked up. Seeing Zhang Yuan’s face full of concern, she burst out laughing again.

“You’re still laughing.”

“When you bend your waist like that, you also look like you’re unlocking a bike lock.”

Zhang Yuan suddenly stopped talking, only gazingly deeply into He Luo’s eyes. His lips were lightly curved. The night breeze was cool, but his eyes looked like water ripples in the moonlight which warmth refused to be cooled. Embarrassed, she stood up from the backseat. “Ah, let’s go. It’s lights off time.” Zhang Yuan was still quiet, only following behind her. The distance was exactly half a step.

If earlier he asked her, “Then what do you say, do I open it [the lock]?” How should she answer him? Just thinking about it was enough to make He Luo blush.

The further she walked, the faster she went.

She turned around the corner into the dorm, the blazing white lamp in the porch flickered. Then the entire building suddenly blacked out, followed by a series of long sighs from the girls inside. There were still some illumination from inside rooms earlier but even those disappeared into the darkness.

“Ah!” He Luo staggered, almost falling, if not for Zhang Yuan’s quick intervention to hold onto her arm.

She was standing on the elevated sidewalk. When she turned around, she found herself closer to his height. Without even needing to look up, she was eye level with him.

His and her face, projected in each other’s eyes. It was so intimate, bathed under the silver moonlight. Her scattered bangs, his straight nose - both shadowed in complete darkness, inviting one to probe closer. She loved him so much that she would rather not breathe in front of him, only gaze at him as if all the happiness in the world could be anticipated.

She was so happy she wanted to shed tears.

She had never been this courageous in her life. Without even closing her eyes, in lightning speed, she tiptoed and pecked Zhang Yuan on the lips. She was so quick that she can’t even be sure if the moist and cool sensation was from the touching of their lips or from the night dew.

In the next moment, her cheeks began to burn. Her heart began beating wildly, stumbling over her throat. Somehow, Zhang Yuan’s lips had already covered hers. Too late to savour the moment, she instinctively closed her eyes and leaned slightly back. There was nowhere for her to go. The sturdy arm behind her prevented her escape as he leaned over.

The tip of their noses gently rubbed against each other, it was a cold sensation but their lips were warm. His stubble pricked her but she never imagined a boy’s lips can be this soft.

Such a soft, delicate feeling. Like that of eating lush, dark chocolate with a toffee center. Mingling inside, it was sweet and fragrant until it slowly melted in her mouth.

Carefully, she savoured its sweet taste and smell.

[illustration by Adara Sanchez Anguiano]