Still Not Wanting to Forget 0 // Prologue

“What was the biggest challenge in your life?”

“Level 4 English. I took the test four times before passing.”

“Your ambition can be a little higher... Be a little more rational. The readers of my magazine are all students. Be mindful of your influence on them.”

“Level 6 English. I don’t even dare to enter the examination hall.”

Listening to the Si Nian’s regretful rant about her university’s Level 6 English, the person before her ran out of the patience and snapped, “Si Nian, are you trying to pick a fight with me? Be careful or I’ll exile you from the industry.”

“... what I mean is that even if your English isn’t good, it doesn’t matter. Every path leads to success.”

Si Nian squatted in front of the TV cabinet, looking at the Blu-Ray discs inside.

Her friend Shen Wei Jue recently became obsessed with Blu-Rays but had no one to share her obsession with. Thus she mailed her Blu-Ray discs every week to convert her into an addict as well.

It was true that the resolution looked better than in DVDs but unfortunately for her, that was all the advantage there was to it...

Liu Xia finally gave up and changed her question. “Why did you use the nickname Easily Fired Up?”

Si Nan glanced at her. “You’re not allowed to tease me for being sentimental... I once wrote this in my diary, ‘If it’s only a passerby in life, there’s no need to be easily angered’. I thought it had a lot of feeling. I remembered it when I was coming up with a nickname so I used it.”

“Why did you suddenly decided to write a novel?”

Why?

The reason was actually very simple in the beginning.

“I wanted to write about a person. He and I didn’t have a good ending. I wanted for us to have sweet moments for once in the novel.”

Liu Xia laughed. “It’s probably your first love?”

Si Nian dared not offend her so she explained, “Yes, it’s first love, also online dating. Back then I was only in third year of high school, it was definitely a so-called puppy love. In the first place I have almost forgotten about it but in the past two years, I would sometimes see him on the news. That was where I got my inspiration from.”

Feeling uneasy, she added, “Don't ask who.”

“Online dating? Have you two met in person?”

“We never met even until we broke up. That’s not right. I have seen him but he had not seen me,” Si Nian said, grinning. “Back then I wore braces. I was so ugly. How could I meet the person I like? We only did things like video-messaging or writing letters.”

In her teenage mood, she often signed off with two names: Si Nian, Cheng Chen.

Si Nian, Cheng Chen. Put together, they meant a deep, sorrowful longing. 

“How did the break-up happened?”

“How else could it happen? My mom found out. She cut off the Internet line and the phone was off-limits. So I was made to disappear.” The hidden risk of a puppy love... Of course it was due to parents’ disapproval. She sighed, concluding, “After the one-year ban, I can no longer find him anywhere.”

“I understand,” Liu Xia said, nodding. “Basically he thought he was cruelly and mercilessly dumped. Not only did you break up, you also had to be the scapegoat. What a pitiful child.” Liu Xia thought for a moment; she suddenly remembered that she deviated from the actual question. “Then what did that had to do with your novel Set Fire?”

Si Nian drained the tea, not saying anything.

“It couldn’t really be that melodramatic, could it?” Liu Xia quickly connected the dots between the setting of the novel and understood. “Many years later you found out that the guy who was your first love, your online boyfriend, and your puppy love joined the entertainment industry? An artist?”

Si Nian vaguely answered, “He was first an actor, then a director.”

Things were not set in stone. Even someone like her who was a law graduate ended up being a screenwriter.

Liu Xia immediately grabbed Si Nian’s arm and said, “Tell who he is. If you won’t say, I’ll jump from your balcony. I’m too nosy! I want to change my occupation to become an entertainment reporter!”

“... then jump.”

“Did you two meet yet? You’re a screenwriter. You would occasionally do commercials. Writers and directors have a lot of opportunities to meet.”

“Not yet,” she said, sighing. “The world isn’t as small as you imagine.”

In the end the purpose of a proper interview was completely destroyed by gossip.

After finally sending away Liu Xia, only then did she remember that she needed to go to her office for a meeting this afternoon. The production company she was working for was going to recommend directors.

But she didn’t expect to see a bunch of young girls standing outside the meeting room, secretly whispering to each other.

She walked over and patted the front desk. “What are they looking at? So overexcited. Don’t we have a lot of celebrities coming over to our company everyday?”

“Miss jie, it’s a director who is better-looking than celebrities. It’s the director that shot Intimate. That drama made me sob uncontrollably, even my mom cried. I thought the director must definitely be a woman to be able to film such an emotional drama. I didn’t think it was a man, furthermore such a well-mannered and attractive man...”

Cheng Chen?!

She was just about to brave through the crowd but now she was stupefied.

How popular was Intimate, that was how popular Cheng Chen was. That was the reason why Si Nian dared not tell Liu Xia. In the past two years Si Nian had ample opportunities to work with him but refused each time using a variety of excuses. She didn’t expect to stumble across him working on this small commercial.

Honestly, the past was not a big deal at all right now.

But to suddenly meet him and say, “Hi I’m Si Nian, I am that first love of yours who you not only have not met but also dumped you...” No thanks.

She took out her phone, walked to the hallway, and dialed Shen Wei Jue’s number.

“Oh, why are you suddenly looking for me?” Shen Wei Jue chuckled. “I'm filming. Hurry up and say what you want to say.”

Si Nian cleared her throat. “Did you think, after all these years, my voice has changed?”

“... probably not.”

“Is there a difference between my voice on the phone and in real life?”

“Of course there is some difference.” Shen Wei Jue groaned. “But it isn’t such a big one. Did you do something wrong to ask such a pointless question? I have to hang up now, my boss is here.”

The call was immediately cut off. She struggled for a full ten-minute before resolving to pretend until the bitter end.

Besides, the low-level staff only called her Miss, with the closer ones calling her Xiao M. No one would pay attention to her Chinese name. She prepped herself mentally over and over, took a deep breath, and entered the meeting room.

Due to the traffic and the crowd outside, she was late. By the time she went in, they were already discussing the script. There were piles of scripts in front of everyone and the producers were using laser pointers to explain.

Si Nian quietly pulled out a chair and sat down.

Cheng Chen was just sitting diagonally opposite her.

The curtains blocked the sunlight from coming in and because the lights were turned off, the light from the screen illuminated his face, flashing occasionally. He had not changed, except for the pair of glasses. There was no change at all. Si Nian stared at his side profile. For a moment she couldn’t look away. As if he could feel the stare, Cheng Chen turned around and looked at her.

Their eyes briefly met. It was fortunate that the room was dark, hiding her embarrassment.

The summer of her third year in high school, when she stared at him through the lens of her camera, she had similar feelings of embarrassment and nervousness.

The image wasn’t quite clear yet her heartbeats were rapid and furious. In his glance there was surprise, and then a sense of helplessness. After a long while, he finally turned around and rested his chin on his palm, observing the actions of the people on screen.

The script explanation was quickly over and someone opened the curtains again.

In the sunlit meeting room, the producer introduced the person beside him with a smile. “This is our director this time, Cheng Chen. He’s the one who directed the hit TV series Intimate. I pulled a lot of strings to get a spot in his schedule.”

Cheng Chen reclined his back, nodding at her.

Fortunately, she found a good excuse.

She cleared her throat and deliberately coughed a few times. She lowered her voice and said to the person next to her, “My throat is in terrible condition these couple of days, please speak on my behalf.”

Thus in the entire meeting, she did only two things: smiling and coughing.

She didn’t know why, but he kept glancing at her every now and then.

There shouldn’t be any problems.

It must be her guilty conscience acting up.

Si Nian skimmed through the script carelessly, trying to keep herself out of trouble.

She didn’t expect that, in the middle of a heated discussion, Cheng Chen who had not said anything all this whole, would suddenly speak. “I have throat lozenges. You’ll feel better after eating some.” His voice was somewhat low, cool and very subtle.

Everyone stopped to look at him, then at Si Nian.

His voice didn’t change after so many years.

Si Nian thanked him, feeling a little dizzy. Her voice actually became hoarse from trying to act convincingly earlier.

Cheng Chen placed a small metal tin on the glass table, pushing it towards her.

She extended her hand to grab it and then noticed it was by the brand Nin Jiom. Back then when he had a cough, she bought three boxes of Nin Jiom herbal essence for him. It couldn’t be that coincidental... in a flash she had an idea. Her hand missed and knocked the tin onto the floor.

Once again, everyone stopped because of the sudden noise.

The corners of Cheng Chen’s lips twitched. Maintaining his motion of flipping through the script, he quietly observed her. 

[artwork by Hsiao Roncheng]