After Tian Xin’s military training ended, she insisted that He Luo watch the army parade.
He Luo said, “Your father is second only to the commander. You have seen so many big stages, such a small stage you also have the face to show me?”
“It’s not the same!” Tian Xin said. “There are handsome men! If you don’t come, you’ll regret to death.”
“I’m not interested.”
“Right, right. They’re not as handsome as your Zhang Yuan. Just come check them out for me? Please?” Tian Xin pulled out her saddest puppy face.
“Didn’t you have a crush on that rebound king from high school?” A woman’s mind was truly fickle.
“That guy and I belong to completely different worlds now. I heard he applied somewhere in Guangzhou. One in north, one in the south. How tiring is it to date like that, we won’t last long at all.” When she saw He Luo’s face stiffened, she hurriedly added, “Ai, I don’t have another meaning. You two are different, your relationship has a strong foundation. You two will be together happily for life.”
“So flippant! Whatever words coming from your mouth sounds twisted,” He Luo snickered.
“Wei, you two can fall in love but can’t let others talk about it?” Tian Xin giggled. Huddling next to He Luo, she hugged her shoulders. “Say honestly, have you two kissed?”
“Why should I tell you?”
“You’re the pioneer of the revolution, you have to impart your experience to me!” Tian Xin wagged her finger at He Luo. “Later on when you get married and have children, I’ll be following your footsteps to move forward!”
“So, have you?” Tian Xin continued to persuade.
“Not yet…”
“Tell the truth!”
“That’s the truth.”
“I don’t believe it!”
“See, even if I told you, you don’t believe me,” He Luo said helplessly.
“Y-You two pieces of wood! I thought you’d at least have a hot kiss when you’re saying goodbye! At the time I regretted leaving earlier than you and missing the show.”
He Luo thought, If you have come, you would be even more regretful. Back then, Dad accompanied her, escorting her all the way to Beijing. The platform was full of her relatives. Zhang Yuan, Zhao Cheng Jie, Li Yun Wei, and a few other high school classmates were forced to stand on the cement.
There was no chance to embrace at all.
They could only reach for each other’s hands, firmly crossing fingers so there was no space between them. A hundred times of practice seemed to only prepare them for this moment’s separation(?).
Thinking about this, He Luo felt a little sorrowful. “Why don’t you catch that handsome guy first? It’s useless to check now. If I encourage you now but the guy doesn’t have feelings for you, how upset would you be?”
“I…” Tian Xin made a tearful expression. “I’m requesting something so simple from you, how can you be so bad-mouthed.”
He Luo reluctantly agreed. “Alright, alright. What day is it?”
“This coming Saturday afternoon.”
“Saturday… Ah!” He Luo thought of something. “I can’t, I have a Department activity!”
“What activity?”
“A ball with the School of Economics.”
“You’re finished!” Tian Xin shook He Luo’s shoulders. “You’re not coming to see the parade with me, but going to some ball to flirt with guys! I’ll go to a certain Zhang and complain about you!”
“Go ahead. The last time I called, he told me he’s also having a ball. He even said he’s very excited for it.” He Luo laughed. “Your heart is so twisted, even your thoughts are crooked.”
*
Having said that, however, when it came to the ball, He Luo still found a corner to sit down.
Zhou Xing Yan was especially angry. “These boys are too much! It hasn’t even been a month but they are already desperately seeking opportunities outside, even finding another university for collaboration!”
“It’s just that we have fewer girls.” Ye Zhi pointed at the available girls; there were less than ten. “And they’re all attached.” She pointed at He Luo. “Hey, why are you hiding all the way there?”
Tong Jia Ying made a face. “Are you guys going to dance? I don’t want to dance.” She turned around and wanted to walk away.
“It’s just dancing, not asking you to jump!” Zhou Xing Yan held onto her. “What are you scared of?”
“I don’t know how to.” She smiled embarrassedly.
“Then I’ll lead you.” He Luo walked over to her and, in the manner of an instructor, held out her right arm.
“He Luo, why do you know the men’s steps?” Ye Zhi asked.
“These potatoes here tonight is beneath her,” Zhou Xing Yan retorted, joining them. “Little Luo Luo has her handsome Yuan Yuan at home.”
“You talk as if you have seen him!” He Luo puckered her lips, smiling. She held onto Tong Jia Ying. “Come, let’s dance on our own.”
“What a waste of resources!” Their classmate Shen Lie shouted. “We now have two fewer girls.” He walked over in front of the two girls and stretched his hand in front of He Luo. “You’re here to make trouble, aren’t you?”
“Stop interrupting. I can’t see.” He Luo was anxious and right on mark, she yelled “Aiyo!” - Tong Jia Ying had stepped on her foot.
“Did you hurt anything!?”
“No, no.” She jumped back to the sidelines.
“Then take a break and later partner with me!” Shen Lie pulled a chair for her to rest on.
“She stepped exactly on my big toe. I don’t think so.”
“Didn’t you say you were okay?” Shen Lie stooped to look at her.
“What He Luo means by okay means she won’t die from this,” Ye Zhi answered.
“You’re exaggerating.” He Luo toyed with her sandals. “But good thing Jia Ying didn’t wear stilettos.”
Her toe was still throbbing but He Luo was just happy to have found an excuse to rest in the sidelines. Dad was a faithful fan of dancing; every weekend he would go the nearby park to learn dancing without fail. When he came back, he would clear the living room and drilled into He Luo new tactics he learned.
Tango was too seductive, Beijing dance was too tacky; she only liked waltz.
The swishing of the skirt, the affectionate gaze between two lovers, like in Princess Qian Qian or Bai Mulan. Her partner at this time should be him, not this guy in front of her. He Luo looked deep in thought as she pondered this.
Originally Zhang Yuan had planned to visit her on National Day. But at the end of the month, he called to apologise that the tickets had sold out. “I overestimated the railroad’s ability.” He said he went to the station at 8 in the morning and found the entire place packed with humans. Most of them had been queuing since midnight.
Holding the phone, He Luo was beyond disappointed but could only repeatedly say it was okay. By then, it was already too late to buy tickets home. She wanted to go hang out with her high school friends but Li Yun Wei already had plans with her university friends to go to Yesanpo, Tian Xin’s parents were flying in to visit their precious daughter, two to three of her university acquaintances had already arranged to stay with their relatives.
“When I asked you if you have any plans, you said that someone was coming!” Li Yun Wei said. “Why don’t you come camping with us?”
“Forget it. Aren’t they all your university mates?” After much consideration, she decided to join her department to go see the flag-raising ceremony. At least there would be some National Day atmosphere.
The three girls in her dorm shook their heads. Tong Jia Ying was going to Tianjin to visit a classmate, Ye Zhi who was usually lazy continued to be lazy. “I want to catch up on my sleep… I’ll watch the ceremony in my dream.”
Zhou Xing Yan opened her mouth. “Ah, that you’re also interested in? We have been liberated from university after much difficulty, why don’t you spare me, big sis? So happened on 30th I’d be passing by there on my way home, why don’t you bring a mat and join me?”
A helpless He Luo had no choice but to apply bitterly on her own. The school bus was leaving at 3 in the morning. The first night meant she would be getting no sleep. So she lit a candle to read her diary and Zhang Yuan’s letters again in the dark. A sleepy Ye Zhi saw the projection of her shadow and nagged, “You keep on using the candle, one day you’ll burn the whole dorm down.”
*
On the school bus, it so happened Shen Lie was also there. A surprised He Luo asked, “Eh, aren’t you also from Beijing?” Zhou Xing Yan retorted, “All these Beijing kids, you all were dragged to go see the flag-raising ceremony from kindergarten age.”
“There ought to be at least one selfless Beijing person! Look at me, I sacrificed my precious rest time to serve as a revolutionary guide for the outstation students!” Shen Lie raised his chin and flicked his hair. “How, touching isn’t it! Hurry and give me applause.”
He Luo smiled and clapped lightly. Monitor Zhang Yuan, are you also doing your responsibility dutifully, guiding your class in touring the city? The more she thought about it, the more sorrowful she felt. There were three and a half more months to the end of the final exams. More than 100 days.
More than 100 days. Every passing minute weighed on her.
Before it even hit 4 in the morning, the entire square was packed. Shen Lie patted his chest and promised he knew a lesser-known place that will give them a good view of the flag-raising. “You can watch the national flag rise against a backdrop of the sunrise! The distance will be close, it’s the absolute best!” He was leading the crowd, never forgetting those following further behind.
“It’s a good place, you say?” He Luo stared at the wall blocking the view Shen Lie was talking about.
“Ah? There wasn’t such a block when I last came here!”
“When was that last time?”
“I don’t quite remember anymore. I just remember wearing a red scarf.” He raised his hands. “I remember waving excitedly and yelling, ‘Flag, flag, your corner is here!’”
Since they made a detour and had to return back to the square late, they could only watch from behind a large crowd. On the way back Shen Lie was extremely apologetic. He Luo just nodded; she really was too sleepy. Underneath the dorms, he said, “I’ll be going home today but I’ll be back by the 3rd. If any of you wants to visit the Summer Palace, sign up now. He Luo, you go and ask the other girls. Go now.”
“Okay, I’ll go and ask.” He Luo just wanted to go back and sleep. Ye Zhi indeed was wise.
He Luo went upstairs to grab her toiletries. She was about to head to the washroom when the loudspeaker blared: “He Luo, He Luo. Are you in?” The warden had never before used the loudspeaker.
“Not here!” Ye Zhi yelled.
“Here!” He Luo immediately yelled.
“Ah, you’re back!” Ye Zhi jumped up.
“Is she in or not?” The warden was impatient.
A succession of “here!” was heard.
“Who’s so early?” Ye Zhi grumbled.
“Shen Lie asked me to ask if any of the girls want to visit Summer Palace, but how can I be so fast!” He Luo placed her toiletries down. “But it’s not early either. It is 9 in the morning.”
“Before lunch is still considering morning.” Ye Zhi hid under the sheets again.
“Yes, yes, you can even have your lunch at 2.” He Luo smiled and gently closed the door behind her.
She found Shen Lie staring at the Health bulletin board. “So fast!” he said.
“Aren’t you the one who called me?” she asked, confused.
“I didn’t…”
“Ah, then…”
He Luo had a sudden premonition, a premonition of happiness. It was such a wonderful idea that she immediately straightened her back for a moment, but she dared not look back.
The morning sun was peeking from the upper left corner of the gate, stretching her shadow endlessly. Slowly, another shadow blocked the light. A tall figure stepped in, sending the little micro dust flying in the light.
“You lazy egg, did you just get up?” a weary voice asked.
Turning around, facing the backlight was really him.
He stood there lazily, a travel bag sitting next to him on the floor. It reminded her of the memory of that street corner, where he had waited for He Luo, watching her go to him step by step in that sunshine-paved road.
Truly it was him. It was just like a wonderful dream.
“You big liar!” She pouted and looked at him. His hair was messy, stubbornly refusing to lay flat. On his chin was a faint layer of stubble. Even the way he was laughing was calm and tired. He Luo couldn’t stop herself from raising her hand to pat his hair down. Zhang Yuan obediently bent and leaned over. A familiar face, it simply looked too tired.
He Luo’s heart felt like a sponge, absorbing all the happiness in the world. But it quickly became heavy, so much that her chest hurt.
She felt so much love for him.
She was so happy she could cry. She pressed her lips into a line and tried to hold his hand. But the moment her slender fingers touched Zhang Yuan’s tanned arm, she couldn’t control herself and embraced him instead.
“Why didn’t you say a word?” Her hands formed a ring around his waist, tightly clasping. She was afraid that once she let go, he would disappear like smoke.
“If I don’t surprise you, do you think you’ll take initiative to hug me?” Zhang Yuan hugged her tightly.
“You’re lucky I didn’t go camping or you’ll cry!”
“ It’s okay even if you’re not here. I’ll just wait here. There are so many beauties in your building.”
He Luo’s head was resting on his chest, she could feel the vibrations from his chuckling. “You don’t have this chance anymore!” she whispered.
Shen Lie wavered between staying and leaving; both options seemed wrong. He turned a few times in the hall, before clearing his throat loudly.
Realising there were still students around, He Luo immediately straightened her back. “Shen Lie, my university classmate.” Crooking her head, she introduced, “This is Zhang Yuan, my boyfriend.”
“High school classmates?” Shen Lie asked.
“Ah… ah, yes.” He Luo said, “Why don’t we ask Shen Lie’s help?”
“En?”
“Have you found a place to stay?” He Luo asked.
“I have relatives living nearby. When I asked where he is in Beijing, he said northwest corner. I figured since your university is also in northwest, it shouldn’t be too far,” Zhang Yuan said. “But the taxi ended up taking half an hour to get from northwest Beijing to northwest Beijing.”
“This place is so much bigger than our hometown!” He Luo giggled. Turning around, she asked Shen Lie, “Right, aren’t you going home? Can you lend me your bed?”
“Lend me, not you,” Zhang Yuan corrected.
He Luo elbowed him. “Your eyes are already swollen but you still have so much to say.”
“Your dark circles have gotten worse. So ugly. Panda.”
“You don’t look too good either!” He Luo scrunched her nose and they both laughed.
“Ay, I’ll just lend it to you,” Shen Lie said. “If you two keep on going, I wouldn’t be able to go home until tomorrow.” He scratched his head. “I have the bed and pillow but the sheets, quilt, and cover… I’m bringing home to wash them.”
“Doesn’t everyone have two sets?” He Luo asked.
“I’m tossing both sets to my mom!”
Zhang Yuan patted him on the shoulder. “Bro, I understand you.”
He Luo chuckled. “I know you’re just the same. You still dare say it. Just take mine then!”
With quick steps, she ran back to her room and opened the door with a loud bang. She can’t help but scream excitedly, “Ahhhhhhh!”
“What’s wrong?” Ye Zhi jumped. “Is it a rat? Did you see a rat?”
“What rat! I’ll hit you!” He Luo, standing on the stool, pushed Ye Zhi aside. “He came, he came! Zhang Yuan’s here!” Her two eyes seemed to sparkle.
“Ah? Really?” Ye Zhi didn’t return to her sleep. “Hurry up and show me the idol that sent you four letters in a day!”
“I don’t have time for you! I’m taking him to the boys’ dorm.” He Luo jumped down and began rummaging through her stuff. “Shen Lie is going home, Zhang Yuan will be staying in his room. These two days, there will be many opportunities to show you.”
“Yes, yes!” Ye Zhi was getting excited. “But I still want to sneak a look at him. You bring him in front of the building, I’ll peek from the curtains. Hey, what are you looking for?”
“Sheets for Zhang Yuan. Shen Lie brought home his to wash.”
“Ahhhh!” This time it was Ye Zhi screaming. “This is too, too, too… too ambiguous! What a fantasy!”
“What are you thinking?” He Luo hugged the pile of things and looked at her.
“You’re giving people chance to imagine!” Ye Zhi held her pillow and sat cross-legged on the top bunk. “Using a quilt He Luo had used before, full with a girl’s delicate fragrance…” She sat there dreamily, thinking.
“Go to hell!” He Luo giggled. “At most it’s the smell of washing powder.”
“I’m afraid someone won’t think that way.” Ye Zhi cackled.
Fortunately Tian Xin wasn’t here, He Luo thought as she rushed down the stairs. When girls become gossipy, it truly was the scariest thing on earth.
The three of them walked to the boys’ dorms together. Outside the door, He Luo pretended that the things she losing grip on the things she was carrying. “It’s falling, the pillow is falling!” When she remembered there was a pair of thieving eyes behind the curtains, she couldn’t help but chuckle.
Seeing He Luo laugh with so much joy, Shen Lie couldn’t help his smile as well. Turning to her, he said, “You know, we all thought you were pretty arrogant.”
“Her? She’s just a muddle-head.” Zhang Yuan reached out to take the things from He Luo, holding them beside him against his waist. “What are you smiling about? Is this the first time you are seeing a runway?”
“You do really look like one. Who will carry quilt around on campus on such a big day like National Day?” she said, helping Zhang Yuan carry his travel bag.
“Forget it. You better carry the quilt. This is too heavy for you.”
“What did you put inside? It’s not like you are moving house!”
“Which girl said that she wants to see the ending of [the comic book] Red River but isn’t sure where to find in Beijing and end up forcing me to get it?”
“Back then I was worried it would go out of stock! Who told you to bring it? Self-abuse!” He Luo made a heng sound. “Do you think you’re not tired enough as is?”
“Since I’m coming anyway, I decided to bring it with me. Don’t you want to read it early?”
“I don’t want to…” He Luo chuckled. With a smile, she quietly whispered, “It’s enough to see you.”
“You’re acting more and more like my style.” Zhang Yuan smiled proudly.
Freshman year in October, he came to her side, carrying yesterday’s unfulfilled happiness.
[artwork by Henn Kim]
Thanks for the chapter
ReplyDeleteMy heart got squeezed so much it hurts!
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